Scott Duncan

6 Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Strong

As we approach Valentine’s Day on Sunday our thoughts often focus more on our marriages. Marriage is a road of struggles and victories.  Here are 6 things I have found helpful as a husband to support my marriage and honour the Lord.

1. Show one another that Christ is your first priority

Pretty straight forward and obvious on this one. If Christ is our single focus we will be the best husbands and wives in the whole world. Matthew 22:37-38, Luke 14:26.

2. Show that you trust one another

Issac & Rebekah in Genesis 27 are an example of a married couple where trust and communication were absent. Make an effort to build trust in your spouse. This means setting appropriate boundaries so that there are no hidden secrets. It means keeping your word even when it hurts.

3. Be an active listener

Boaz listened to the needs of Ruth throughout the book of Ruth (especially in chapter 3 when Ruth asks him to take her under his wing). Cultivating the skill of listening (not just hearing) will go a long way to avoiding and resolving conflict. Often disputes arise because we haven’t taken the time to really listen.

4. Openly communicate as often as possible

Talk through any problems that arise rather than avoiding them. Sweeping issues under the rug will only build the tension and resentment that might exist. Keep your spouse aware of struggles, goals, fears and successes. Engage him/her in active communication frequently and keep the channels of your heart open to your spouse.

5. Make plans to be together

Each time Priscilla & Aquila are mentioned in Acts & the epistles, they are mentioned together.  It appears they spent much time serving the Lord together and enjoying each other’s company.  A GREAT example of a Godly couple!

6. Seek for ways to show your spouse that they are valued

Find out what puts a smile on your spouse’s face. It could be as simple as a favourite food, a favourite place to go for a walk or a favourite song. Put some energy into sharing the little things and making them feel special.  If your wife seems tired or stressed (it happens a lot, right men?) learn how to cook a meal she will love and surprise her with it. Above all let her know verbally and practically how much you love and value her. Genesis 29:20

These are just a few tips to keeping your marriage strong and much more could be said on each one as well as many more added. What things have you found helpful in your marriage?

Scott Duncan
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